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Taking Care of Your Child

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1. Taking Care of Your Child
2. Understand Your Child
3. Ways to Shape Your Child's Behavior
4. Discipline for Children with ADHD
5. Dealing With Your Child's Anger & Rage

1. Taking Care of Your Child

Children with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) have trouble finishing tasks, focusing, and following instructions. They might feel frustrated, angry, or misunderstood. They can be hyperactive and impulsive. They may become afraid or depressed and have mood swings.

You can help your child change behaviors and be more productive and focused. Work as a team. Be your child’s coach. Be patient and understanding, but firm. Working together you will both have less stress.

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2. Understand Your Child

Children with ADHD don’t act the same as other children their age. They are more easily distracted, frustrated, and afraid to fail. They might act silly or too young for their age. A child with ADHD may be hyperactive but doesn’t cause problems on purpose. You may think your child should know better and be tempted to scold him or her. Don’t get angry. Be patient. Try not to care what other people think. Be proud of your child and the work you do together. Find out what is hard for your child. Watch how your child acts with others. Learn about problem areas and situations that make it hard for your child to focus.

Tell your child you love him or her and want to help with problems. Children with ADHD can be sensitive to jokes or comments. Let your child know that he or she is appreciated. Help your child understand rules and directions given by a teacher or other adult. Use your child’s own words in explaining things.

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3. Ways to Shape Your Child's Behavior

Children with ADHD have difficulty learning what behaviors are appropriate. They may have trouble controlling impulses or finishing tasks. You can teach your child ways to act better. Here are some ideas to help you shape your child’s behavior:

Some Ways to Shape Behavior:

• Use Lists. If you give your child more than one thing to do, make a list. Write out the list with your child. Use his or her own words. Ask your child questions about the tasks. Explain tasks. Decide when a task should be finished. Have your child check off finished tasks. This gives your child a sense of accomplishment. Give your child choices, like when a task should be done. This gives your child practice in making decisions.
• Understand Consequences. Help your child think about the consequences of his or her actions. This helps your child take responsibility for his or her actions. Ask your child, “What do you think will happen if you do such-and-such?” You fill in the consequences if your child can’t.
• Reduce Distractions. Create routines in your home. Keep youself and your home on a schedule that your child can rely on. Prepare your child ahead of time for any changes in your home.
• Reduce Impulsive Behavior. Plan activities that keep your child busy and active, like sports or activities with other children. This helps use up your child’s extra energy and reduces impulsive behavior. Your child can feel a sense of accomplishment when doing these things.
• Organize. Children with ADHD often lose things. Set aside a place in your home where your child can put things that are needed every day, such as a backpack or keys. Always keep these items in this place. This prevents a lastminute search for a missing item.
• Set Limits. Be consistent and fair when rewarding or disciplining your child. Plan ahead for behaviors you want to encourage or discourage. Encourage good behaviors. Discourage inappropriate behaviors. Explain which behaviors will be rewarded and which will be disciplined and the consequences for bad behaviors. Be sure you have your child’s attention. Have your child repeat what you said in his or her own words. Be patient and clear. Write down the rules and post them in your home.
• Reinforce Good Behavior. Be honest when praising your child. Don’t give your child false praise. Praise your child for doing things well. Praise your child for showing effort. If a task isn’t finished or done poorly, tell your child you’re glad for the effort.
  
  Giving rewards can encourage good behavior. Make a chart. Write the tasks that you expect your child to do and the reward for each. Break large tasks into smaller steps. Leave a space for your child to mark off tasks that are finished. Explain the reward system. For example, “If you get 10 points you can go to the movies.”

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4. Discipline for Children with ADHD

Children with ADHD don’t always follow rules. You may need to discipline your child. Remember: The purpose of discipline is not to hurt your child. The purpose is to guide your child’s behavior.

Decide ahead of time what discipline you will use to discourage inappropriate behaviors. Carry out the discipline, even if it’s not convenient. Be consistent. This is the only way your child will understand which behaviors are not allowed.

Don’t get angry and instantly punish your child. Taking away privileges and using time-outs are good ways to change your child’s behavior. “Time-outs” are periods of time that your child must spend alone, for example, in his or her room. Use a time-out for only very bad behavior. Use time-outs whenever your child displays these bad behaviors. Decide how long the time-out will last. In general, time-outs can last from 3-10 minutes. Don’t react to any temper tantrums your child may have during the time-out.

5. Dealing With Your Child's Anger & Rage

Talk with your child about what happened during the day. Ask your child to tell you about any worries or concerns. Talking with your child every day can stop feelings of frustration and anxiety from becoming angry outbursts. If your child has an angry outburst, help him or her calm down. Make the area around your child calmer and quieter. Focus your child on exercise or another calming activity.

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