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Caring for Yourself and Your Child

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  1. Understanding Treatments for ADHD
  2. Other Treatment Choices
  3. Take Care of Yourself
  4. Books for Children with ADHD

Parents often feel frustration and stress when caring for a child with ADHD. This makes it even harder to care for the child. Stress comes from dealing with the symptoms of ADHD every day and can affect the whole family. Learning about different treatments helps reduce stress. It is also important to take care of your own needs. When you take care of yourself, you’re better able to help your child.

1. Understanding Treatments for ADHD

It’s easier to help your child when you understand the different treatments for ADHD. Many children with ADHD take medicines and often are on them for months or years. Your child must take medicine just as the doctor prescribes or the symptoms will come back. While your child is on medicine he or she should continue to see the doctor regularly. Watch for some of the following improvements after your child starts taking medicine.

  • Changes in Attention
    Better able to finish tasks
    Better able to focus on schoolwork
  • Changes in Emotion
    Less frustrated
    Less irritable
    Fewer temper tantrums
  • Changes in Hyperactivity
    Less fidgeting
    Able to play quietly
    Fewer impulsive behaviors, like interrupting others

Medicine may help reduce your child's symptoms but it doesn't solve all the problems of ADHD and it doesn't cure ADHD. Medicine won’t change the way your child deals with other people, schoolwork problems, or low self-esteem. Therapy can help with these problems. Therapy can help your child act better and learn to deal with others better. Some kinds of therapy help your child and family talk about your child’s emotional problems. Therapy may increase your child’s self-esteem.

Treatment won’t work without your child’s effort. Reward your child for trying to improve. Praise your child when he or she succeeds in acting better. This helps motivate your child to improve.

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2. Other Treatment Choices

You may not be sure that your child should take medicine. You may hear about alternative treatments. Some of these don’t work. Others are dangerous or unhealthy.

Parents who have children with ADHD may tell you about their successes with alternative treatments. Companies may tell you that an alternative treatment is a sure thing. There is no proof that alternative treatments like biofeedback, restricted diets, allergy treatments, megavitamins, treatment for yeast infection, going to chiropractor visits, eye training, or using special colored glasses work for ADHD. Dietary supplements can have serious side effects.

Talk with your child's doctor:

  • If your think your child isn’t getting better after starting medicine.
  • Before treating your child in another way.
  • If you don’t think your child Should take medicine.
  • To get suggestions about other kinds of treatment.
  • If you think your child is having side effects from medication.
  • Before stopping your child's medicine. Never stop your child’s medicine without talking to your child's doctor..

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3. Take Care of Yourself

ADHD isn’t just your child’s problem. It affects the whole family. Sometimes you might feel frustrated and helpless. This causes tension in the family. Here are things you can do to make it easier to work with your child.

  • Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame yourself, family members, or your home environment for causing ADHD. Scientists don’t know the causes of ADHD. Don’t blame yourself when things you do to help your child don’t work. Be patient with yourself and your child.
  • Get involved early. Watch how your child behaves. Noticing a problem early makes it easier to solve. You will have less stress if you solve problems early.
  • Educate yourself. Learn about ADHD. Look at books and Internet sites to learn about new treatments that may help your child. This will help you feel more in control.
  • Practice asserting yourself. Be comfortable with being firm and asserting yourself. It will be easier to talk with your child. By being firm, you will be able to help your child take responsibility for his or her own actions.
  • Notice small successes. Feel good about yourself and your child. Don’t demand perfection from yourself or your child. Don’t be hard on yourself. Don’t give up. When you want to solve a problem, start with small steps. Success comes in small steps. Enjoy small improvements. They give you and your child the strength to meet the next problem.
  • Make time for yourself. Take breaks when you feel stressed. Sit in a quiet place. Do something that makes you feel good about yourself. A break helps you cool down and rethink a problem.
  • Focus on the good things. Reward yourself for successes. Never give up hope. During difficult times, it helps to remember your successes. Think about the good experiences with your child.
  • Try to relax. Learn relaxation techniques to help you relax. Some of these are breathing exercises, muscle relaxation, and meditation. Ask your doctors or other health care providers about ways to relax. Books and the Internet also have information. Eat and exercise regularly. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, or other drugs. This helps you stay healthy and lessen your worry.
  • Build a support network. Find someone to talk to when you have a problem. This helps you decrease stress. Your child’s therapist, a social worker, a school counselor, or a pediatrician are all good people to talk to. Talk to family members about your frustrations and successes. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

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4. Books for Children With ADHD

  • Putting on the brakes: A child’s guide to understanding and gaining control over attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) by Patricia Quinn, 1991. Published in New York by Magination Press. (For children aged 4-7)
  • Otto learns about his medicine: A story about medication for children with ADHD by M. Galvin, 1995. Published in New York by Magination Press. (For children aged 4-8)
  • Sometimes I Drive My Mom Crazy, But I Know She’s Crazy About Me: A Self-Esteem Book for ADHD Children by LE Shapiro and MS Hennie, 1993. Published in Long Island, New York by Childswork/Childsplay.
  • The Hyperactive Turtle by DM Moss, 1990. Published in Rockville, MD by Woodbine House. (For children aged 5-8)
  • Help is on the way: A child’s book about ADD by MA Nemiroff and J Annunziata, 1998. Published in New York by Magination Press. (For children aged 5-9)
  • Putting on the brakes: Young people’s guide to understanding attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) by Patricia Quinn and Judith Stern, 1991. Published in New York by Magination Press. (For children aged 9-12)
  • Adolescents and ADD: Gaining the Advantage by Patricia Quinn, 1995. Published in New York by Magination Press. (For children and adolescents aged 11-14)

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